Last week a woman, her daughter, and the woman’s niece were arrested and charged with aggravated battery for the unmerciful beating of a CTA driver following a dispute regarding the fare on a CTA bus. Police stated the “women” dragged the bus driver off her bus, beat and kicked her, and struck her in the face with a full bleach bottle.
Witnesses to the event were horrified. One witness (who asked not to be identified) stated, “It’s getting crazy out here. We were all on that bus. This could have happened to any one of us.”
In a bold move, Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley acted quickly to propose legislation to prevent this from happening again — by banning the sale of bleach in gallon bottles.
“This is preposterous,” Daley began. “Why were these women beating up the bus driver, she doesn’t set the bus fares, I do.”
Daley continued saying, “What makes this event so tragic, is the vicious nature of the attack. Just think about it . . . here you are driving an unairconditioned bus on the worse roads in the world, and you get attacked with a full gallon bleach bottle. I have made it my top priority to ban the sale of full gallon bleach bottles in the City of Chicago.”
“We need to find an alternative to full gallon bleach bottles. Some ideas we are looking into include requiring bleach manufacturers to sell half-full gallon bottles of bleach. We are also exploring the possibility of selling bleach in reinforced plastic bags, like they sell milk in Wisconsin. We may have to ban the sale of bleach altogether in Chicago . . . I don’t know.”
Opponents to the bleach ban have labeled the Daley proposal as “ludicrous.” Alderman Wyatt R. Whites objected stating, “The Mayor has gone too far. If we put any additional restrictions on the sale of bleach in Chicago, what’s next? Spray and Wash®? Fabric Softener?”
Others have questioned the economic impact of a ban of bleach sales in Chicago, recalling past legislation to ban the sale of spray paint and other items in the city. “People will just go to the suburbs to buy their bleach — just like they go there to buy their guns,” stated one Chicago businessman.
“They want to buy bleach in the suburbs,” Daley retorted,”let them go.”
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