The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race
realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were
going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided
to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have
five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which
ever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The
losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler
female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest
Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from
each litter, removed his siblings which gave him all the milk. They
used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest
meanest dog the world had ever seen.
Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and
nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed
up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone
felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way
that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it’s cage
and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian
dog snarled and leaped out of it’s cage and charged the American
dachshund.
But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund’s neck, the
Dachshund opened it’s mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one
bite.
There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.
The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in
disbelief. “We don’t understand how this could have happened. We
had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and
Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest meanest
Siberian wolves.”
“That’s nothing”, an American replied. “We had our best plastic
surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a
Dachshund.”
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