Superior Jokes .com

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

Much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

For the chronically absent:

“A man like him is hard to find.”
“It seemed his career was just taking off.”

For the office drunk:

“I feel his real talent is wasted here.”
“We generally found him loaded with work to do.”

For an employee with no ambition:

“He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in.”
“You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you.”
“He consistently achieves the standards he sets for himself.”
For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:

“I can assure you that no person would be better for the job.”

For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:

“I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment.”
“All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly.”

Why is it that if someone tells you that there is 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint on it you will have to touch it to be sure!