A very handsome and even more confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and cant help but ask, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.”
The woman is intrigued and asks, “A state-of-the-art watch? Whats so special about it?”
“It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,” he explains.
“Whats it telling you now?”
“Well, it says youre not wearing any panties…”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!”
The man taps on the face of the watch and explains, “Damn thing must be an hour fast.”
A guy walked into a restaurant and asked for some broccoli. The waiter said, Sorry, theres no broccoli.
So the man asked for a meat pie and broccoli. The waiter said, “There is no broccoli.”
So he asked for a meat pie, chips, and broccoli. The waiter replied, Spell cat, as in catastrophe.
C-A-T, the man answered.
The waiter then asked, Spell dog as in dogmatic.
The man said D-O-G.
Now spell fuck, as in broccoli, the waiter said.
The man yelled THERES NO FUCK IN BROCCOLI!
The waiter laughed, EXACTLY!!”
- Broccoli
A guy walked into a restaurant and asked for some broccoli. The waiter said, Sorry, theres no brocco...
- In A Lift
An old woman is going up in a lift in a very Iavish department store when a young, beautiful woman g...
- Words Of Wisdom From Children
Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do...
- Perfume
Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions.
The first guy says, “My favorite position is the rodeo position.”
“What is the rodeo position, and how do you do that?” asks the second man.
The first guy explains, “Well, first you tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours, and then you do it doggy- style. Once things start to get underway, and shes really into it, you lean forward and whisper in her ear, Your sister likes this position too… Then, try to hang on for 8 seconds.”
