Q:What does Bob Dole and the Empire State building have in common?
A: They both took 410 days to be erected.
Upon dying, Bill Gates went topurgatory.
St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”.
So, Bill takes a look at hell and see’s these beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches. Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps and singing and worship and stuff like that. So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.
About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him, being whipped by demons. He said to St. Peter, “What happened to all the beautifull women, and the beaches and the 80 degree temperature?”
Peter replied, “That was just the screen saver.”
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general.
..and all in the name of humor!”
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, “You stay out of this, mister!I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
