Superior Jokes .com

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ”None, they all fly away with the first gun shot”

The teacher replies “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then Little Johnny says “I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The elderly man told his wife he was going to sign up for social security. She says, ‘You can’t do that, you lost your birth certificate.’
He says, ‘Oh I’ll talk them into it.’So when he returns the next day, he is all smiles and says, ‘I’m all signed up and no problems.’ ‘
Well, how did you do that?’ she asks.
He replies, ‘I took off my shirt and showed her all the gray hair on my chest, and showed her all the gray hair on my head.’
The wife states, ‘Well, why didn’t you drop your pants, we could have gotten disability.’

I have an earache.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2003 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.