Superior Jokes .com

Leroy is an 18 year old ninth grader who is becoming increasingly disillusioned with the public school system. One day, Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the following vocabulary words in a sentence. Here’s what he wrote.
1. HOTEL – I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.

2. RECTUM – I had two Cadillacs, but my ol’ lady RECTUM both.

3. DISAPPOINTMENT – My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they gonna send me back to the big house.

4. FORECLOSE – If I pay alimony this month, I’ll have no money FORCLOSE.

5. CATACOMB – Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that CATACOMB.

6. PENIS – I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.

7. ISRAEL – Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No, ISRAEL.

8. UNDERMINE – There is a fine lookin’ hoe livin’ in the apartment UNDERMINE.

9. TRIPOLI – I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I couldn’t find no TRIPOLI.

10. STAIN – My mother-in-law axed if I was STAIN for dinner again.

11. SELDOM – My cousin gave me two tickets to the Knicks game, so I SELDOM.

12. ODYSSEY – I told my bro, you ODYSSEY the tits on this hoe.

13. HORDE – My sister got into trouble because she HORDE around in school.

14. INCOME – I just got in bed wit dis hoe and INCOME my wife.

15. HONOR – At the rape trial, the judge axed my buddy, who be HONOR first?

16. FORTIFY – I axed da hoe how much? And she say FORTIFY.

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”
“Sand,” answered Juan.

The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”

“Sand,” says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about….. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”

Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.”