Two gay guys were walking together when one of them said, “You’re not going to believe this, but I think I smell penis.”
The other said, “That’s because I just burped.”
A man was golfing. He walked up to a woman standing nearby him and said, “I’m sorry, I can’t seem to remember what hole I’m on.” And the woman replied, “Well, I’m on hole 6, and you are one hold behind me, so you must be on hole 5.” He thanked her and walked away.
A few minutes later he approached her. Again he asked the same question, “I can’t remember what hole I’m on. Can you tell me?” And again the woman replied, “Well I’m on hole 10, and you’re one hole behind me, so you must be on hole 9.”
That was the last time he spoke to her, and they both finished their games seperately.
Later that night the man saw the woman at a bar. He walked up to her and started up a conversation. Making small talk, he asked her what she did for a living. “I don’t want to say. You’ll laugh,” she replied. “Oh, give me a shot. Just tell me who you work for.” “Well, ok. But promise not to laugh.” (He promised.)
“I work for Tampax, you know, the feminine protection company.” After she spoke, the man started cracking up. “See? I told you you’d laugh,” she said. “No, no,” the man said. “It’s not that. It’s just that I work for Preparation-H, so I’m always one hole behind you!!”
One day a man named Bob was playing a round of golf with the Pope. On the first hole,Bob hits the ball into a sand trap “Damn, I missed.” says Bob. The Pope says,”you shouldn’t say that it is bad.
Later on in the day on the ninth hole Bob hits the ball into the water. “Damn, I missed.” says Bob again. The Pope says, “Don’t say that, next time you do, God will strike you down with a lightning bolt.”
Close to the end of the day on the last hole, Bob hits it an inch short of the hole. “Damn, I missed.” says Bob once again. The Pope looks into the sky as the clouds start to split apart. Then a lightning bolt comes down from heaven, striking and killing the Pope. God’s voice echos, “Damn, I missed.”
