What is green and yellow and lies in a pile of cookie crumbs?
A beat-up girl scout.
Nursery Crimes:
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
they didnt know that Georgie was gay.
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, was he pushed,
or did he fall?
I pushed him.
Mary had a little lamb,
she tied it to a pilon.
1000 volts went up its arse,
and turned it in to nylon.
Baa baa black sheep,
have you any wool?
Yes sir yes sir,
two balls full.
A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions’ cage and asks them their names and what they’re up to.
The first boy says, “My name’s Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The second boy says, “My name’s Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The third boy says, “My name is Peanuts.”
