Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least a dozen, but it’s impossible to tell which one it is, because they’re all pointing at each other going “That’s me, over there !”
Q: How many Bill Gates’ (runs Microsoft) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. He simply declares darkness to be the new standard.
Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
A: All of them. Bones to say “Its dead Jim”, Uhura to send a distress signal, Sulu to listen to Chekov saying “Light bulbs vere really an old russian invention”, Spock to be fascinated by the illogic inherent in the early demise of the light bulb, Scotty to do the work, and Kirk to get the girl.
Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: (Bruce Babbitt) It’s foolish to talk about screwing in light bulbs when we haven’t even taken the first step, and that is to remove the old bulb. I challenge my fellow candidates to stand up with me and help me remove this old light bulb [stands, but nobody else does] Hah! What wimps. You guys make Bush look like Rambo.
Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: (Richard Gephart) It doesn’t matter whether the bulb is changed or not; it only matters that the new bulb was made in the US of A. Taiwan and South Korea have put up massive barriers to importing US light bulbs; we’ll see how they like it when their bulbs cost $10,000 to screw in here.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They can’t change light bulbs… Without light, they can’t read the manual, and without the manual, they can’t figure out how to change the light bulb.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Wait! Maybe the bulb isn’t broken. Let’s try it again.
Q: How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seven. One to write the pseudocode, another to design the requisite peripherals, another three to code various sections of the main routine, another to sort out the memory conflicts, and Bill Gates to justify earning such swingeing fees…
Q: How many Microsoft Visual C++ programmers does it take ….
A: 400. 1 to change the bulb, 50 to write a magazine about it, 50 to write a help file about it, 50 to code a little gadget so when you hit the bulb it will announce all the names of the team involved, 50 to go down to the drinks machine and get everyone their can of coke, 50 to show off about how installing a light bulb for Bill has made them paper millionaires, 1 to answer the phone at the help desk (”Putting you through to our light bulb expert sir… click”), 148 to pad out the pictures in the “Light Bulb - how we did it” magazine.
Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You’re still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you’d have to do is send a light bulb change message.
Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down into the light fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new super-high wattage model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willie has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin’s real identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. We have the housekeeping staff do it for us.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Please let us know!
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That depends; what color is the bulb?
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It all depends on whether they can read the manuals or not. That needs to be in there somewhere as a qualifier!
