A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road,
when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed
into a tree in an old farmer’s field. The old farmer,after
seeing
what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded
to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed
bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer said he had buried them. The sheriff then
asked the old farmer, “Were they ALL dead?” The old farmer
replied, “Well, some of them said they weren’t, but you know
how them politicians lie.”
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a
fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering
into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.
“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare
yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible
death this year.”
Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the
single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep
breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune
teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.
“Will I be acquitted?”
I just got my new Lexus RX400h, and returned to the dealer the next day, complaining that I couldn’t figure out how the radio worked.
The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. “Watch this! He said, Nelson!” The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?” “Willie!” He continued….and On The Road Again came from the speakers.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, “Beethoven!” I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles!” I’d get one of their awesome songs.
One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. “Nincompoops!!!” I yelled…..
The French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Michael Moore, backed up by John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums and Bill Clinton on sax….
I LOVE this car!!!!!!!!!
