Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. “Oh Marie,” she said to her maid, “I have reason to suspect that my husband ishaving an affair with his secretary.”"I don’t believe it for one minute !” Marie snapped.”You’re just saying that to make me jealous !!!”
One day God called the Pope, and he said “John Paul I have good news and bad news. First the good news. I am tired of all the squabbling between the religions. I have decided there will be only the one true religion”. The Pope was overjoyed and told God how wise his decision was, then asked “What’s the bad news?”. God said the bad news is that I am calling from Salt Lake City.
|The holiday would be cheap, small, quartz-crystal driven, and would let you take a licking and keep on shopping.
Which 3rd grader has the best body, the blonde, brunette or redhead?The blonde - she is eighteen
There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lioncame by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, “Howfunny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?”After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbedthe lion and started pumping away. The lion freaked of course,and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring,he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good timeto be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he hadto think of something quick because he wasn’t going to outrun the lion.Just then the gorilla saw a hunter’s tent and ducked inside to hide.The hunter, reading the paper, was startled and ran out of the tent.The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter’sshirt and hat, and started to read the paper.A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunterreading the paper, said, “Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?”From behind the paper The gorilla answered, “You mean the one thatscrewed the lion in the ass?”Flabergasted, the lion said, “Holy Shit! It’s in the paper already?”
Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. “Oh Marie,” she said to her maid, “I have reason to suspect that my husband ishaving an affair with his secretary.”"I don’t believe it for one minute !” Marie snapped.”You’re just saying that to make me jealous !!!”
It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not stirring of course).
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?All you can eat for under a buck.
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot.When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs though, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his back. That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke; the broken glass carved up his back terribly. Yet, he was so drunk that he didn’t know he was hurt.A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up terribly. He then repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed. The next morning, his head was hurting, his back was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom. “Well, you really tied one on last night,” she said. “Where’d you go?” “I worked late,” he said, “and I stopped off for a couple of beers.” “A couple of beers? That’s a laugh,” she replied. “You got plastered last night. Where did you go?” “What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?” “Well,” she replied, “my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror.”
There were two guys walking down the streetand they saw a dog licking his nuts.One of the guys said. “Man I wish I could do that”.Then the other guy said, “Man that dog will bite you!”!
