Superior Jokes .com

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, “Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you.”

She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, “Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?”

Tony Blair replies, “It’s me!” and hangs up.

G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, “Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?”

And Cheney says, “Wow, that’s a tough one. Let me get back to you.”

So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, “Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?”

And Colin Powell says, “It’s me!”

So Cheney calls Bush and says, “It’s Colin Powell.”

And Bush says, “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am,” said the cop, “I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home,” responded the Amish lady.

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. Have your husband take care of that right away!” instructed the cop.

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.

“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?” asked Jacob.

“He said the reflector is broken,” replied the lady.

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?” wondered Jacob.

“I’m not sure, Jacob… something about the emergency brake,” said the lady.

You’re so ugly that when you were born, the doctor looked at your mom and said, ”This is going to cost extra if I have to touch its ass.”