Superior Jokes .com

A drunk walks into a bar, sits down, and demands a drink. “Get out!” the bartender shouts. “I don’t serve drunks here.”

The guy staggers out the front door, comes back in through the side door, sits down, bangs his fist, and again loudly demands a drink.

“I thought I just told you to get out,” yells the bartender.

The drunk gets up, stumbles out the side door, and returns through the back door. He sits down and angrily asks for another drink.

The bartender walks over to him and shouts, “I told you, no drunks allowed. Now get the hell out of my bar!”

The drunk looks up and slurs, “How many freakin’ bars you work at, anyway?”

A drunk man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he waits for the bartender to mix his cocktail, he notices a woman alone at the end of the bar. When his drink comes, he says, “Hey b-b-b-artender. Give that douche bag at the end of the bar a drink for me.”
The bartender tells the drunk to keep his voice down, but the drunk is belligerent. “Give that douche bag at a drink, dammit!” he shouts.

The bartender becomes angry. “Sir, I will not permit you to sit here and call the lady names.”

The drunk persists. “For the last time, bartender, bring me my drink and give that douche bag down there a drink, too!”

Attempting to quell the growing disturbance, the bartender approaches the woman and apologizes for the behavior of the drunk. “The gentleman insists upon buying you a drink, ma’am. What can I get for you?”

The woman replies, “Oh,… I’ll have a vinegar and water, please!”