There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.
A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
“Hey buddy, Why the Long Face”
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
Q. What’s pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff
Q. What’s blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it’s breath
Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other “God it’s hot in here”
The other one replies “Oh no… It’s a talking muffin”
A married couple went to the hospital to have their first baby. While there, a new doctor told them he’d invented a machine which could transfer the mother’s labor pains to the father. The husband thought this was a terrific idea. (Talk about dumb!)
The doctor set the machine at ten percent, explaining that even ten percent was too much for most men. But the husband felt just fine. So, the doctor turned it up to twenty per cent. Still nothing. Amazed and with some trepidation, the doctor turned the machine up a notch, to fifty percent. But the husband continued to feel just fine. Wanting to help his wife, however, who was writhing in pain, he told the doctor to transfer all the pain to him.
In the end, the wife delivered a healthy baby, and the husband suffered no pain at all.
When they arrived home the next day, they found the mailman dead on the front porch.
